I really think you should re-read my post.  I am saying exactly what you just said......

Cheating is going behind the back of your partner, doing something against their wishes, etc.  I am saying that NI is just fine.  I said I have even donated NI and there was nothing "cheating" about it.

Are you worried about the "motives" of the donor?  Do you really believe that two intelligent adults would take the time and effort to try to concieve a child, just so that some "donor" can have sex?  Sex isn't that tough a thing to have--several billions of people do it rather regularly, I'd think.  Sex is the easiest part of this--and I think if that was the motive, well, I'm guessing a smart mother-to-be would reject that offer pretty early on.  Any woman, almost anywhere in her life, or in her situation, can find a reason to have sex.  An amazingly large number of men are willing to have sex.  So, that can't be the motivation that makes a site like this have only a few hundred people on it. 

Fewer are the number of men anxious to become fathers; yet, somehow the human specie doesn't seem to be suffering from a threat of extinction.

When most couples marry, they are thinking of raising a family.  It is painful to find out that it isn't possible, with the person you've chosen as your mate.  Partially--I think--because you chose that mate precisely because you thought they had the very characteristics that you thought would make a good husband and father.  So, choosing a donor-father is a similiar experience: the same thought, emotions, discussions, legal issues, and compatibility go into choosing a donor-father.  That is why a site like this exists.

If you were a woman, worrying about the "motives" of the donor, you'd have to be thinking, "Is this guy donating because he's such a poor example of manhood that he has no other option for sex?"  That doesn't seem likely.  I'm guessing that the number of people that desperate is pretty small.  Sex, as I said, is easy.  Being a loving, compassionate husband and father--that is tougher.

And, if you thought that there were hidden motives by 'the donor', why wouldn't you think there would be equal hidden motives by 'the recipient?"  Where I live (Texas) the girls seem to like sex as much as the boys.  Maybe that's just a regional thing--but, I've always thought it took two people to dance.  I'd say that as long as there are new babies coming into the world, there is pretty good evidence both 'donors' and 'recipents' have the potential for that 'hidden motive' of which you speak, King Donor.

Someone asked, "would it be better if the husband were present?"  I'm assuming they are thinking only of NI.  I'd think that the husband would be there more than 50% of the time with AI, perhaps even helping.  But with NI, that somehow degrades things to a peep show. 

Every couple is different.  But, I'd think that an NI session with the husband in the room would be . . . weird.  We all know what goes on when sex occurs.  There is no reason to make it a "show."  I think that would make an akward situation just that much more akward.

The point of this site, again, isn't to fulfill sexual fantasies, or to stretch the bounds of a husband/wife relationship.  There are other sites for those types of things!  The point is to concieve a child.  If NI is chosen as the method--for whatever reason--then having a third person in the room isn't necessary, and wouldn't help.  I'd think all three parties will feel odd enough, that adding an element of exhibitionism to the act would only cause problems, not solve any.

Again, I'd start questioning the motive of someone who said, "Can I watch?"